5 days...is it January yet?

well It's been 5 days since Steve left and they have been a long, tough 5 days. Besides regular life to attend to, I have been missing him like crazy! I haven't been sleeping well because he's not there. This doesn't exactly put me in a good position to deal with a 2 year old little girl who ALSO misses her Daddy. She's showing it with typical military brat behavior. She's testing me and throwing alot of tantrums. I am just exhausted already! I dont even know how I'm going to handle this when the baby comes. She is so clingy to me and she does NOT like it when i hold other babies and she is not going to deal well when this baby comes. She's too used to having Mama all to herself. It would be so much easier if i had some help. I hate unedrways and i hate when Steve isn't here! :(

Gone. :(

Steve left this morning for a 3 month deployment. He's flying to Guam by way of Pearl Harbor. This is really hard for me this time because it's the first time in a year that he's left and he wont be back in time to see the baby born. DEFINITELY another girl by the way! :) I'm over the bawling mes part and into the depresed part. It's not the he's at sea part that's upsetting to me. It's that i have to give birth without him and it scares me to death. I know women do it all the time, but i don't want to do it without him!!!! I have no idea how Lilli is going to react to him being gone. She may not notice or she may start whining and misbehaving a lot. She's only two and not terribly clingy to her Daddy. So i guess we'll see. Sigh.